Greatest Bull Ever Told

Posted: October 3, 2010 in Rambling

The other day I was walking through and this guy walks up to me carrying a bundle of paper. “Sir, may I interest you in a Krishna Consciousness Newsletter?” he asks me.

(For the ignorant, international society for Krishna Consciousness, a.k.a. Haré Krishna Movement is at present one of the largest and the most widespread religious movement in Hindu religion. In a big drift from the usual multi deity belief among the common hindus, the Haré Krishna Movement believes in one God i.e. Krishna. You should see the following it has in Europe……)

I was never going to read it (I am religious when it suits my need), but since my parents are a conservative people, I thought I’ll take it just to humor them. “Okay, give me one.” I tell him. “Sure, sir, it costs thirty rupees.” The man said, smiling broadly. Thirty rupees!! Thirty rupees for a promotional leaflet?! Yeah , right! I make a face at him, and move on.

The next day, we were going on a family outing, and I board our car. The first thing I notice, is the Haré Krishna newsletter lying on the front seat. “Oh, that? Yeah, I bought it!” my dad explained. Sighing, I toss it to the backseat and take my place.

We were going a long distance, and in Mumbai, traffic snares are a commonplace. Usually, in such situations I would borrow my dad’s iPhone and fool around with it. But today, it was out of charge and I was stuck staring at this fat guy trying to negotiate the tiny scooter underneath him through a maze of cars. So I thought “why not give Haré Krishna Movement a chance? “

First Article

So I, a virtual atheist, am reading this Haré Krishna newsletter and trying to understand why it cost my dad thirty bucks. The first article is about why Krishna consciousness is ‘The’ ultimate consciousness. It went along something like this, Rama is Krishna and Krishna is Rama. Rama killed the greatest demon spawned on Mother Earth – Ravana. Hence Rama is the God. Since Rama == Krishna, hence Krishna is God. That’s all okay. I would say, fine, that’s all right. You are telling me that Rama is an incarnation of Krishna who happens to be the manifestation of the One God. Every Hindu knows that.

Bomb#1: The author decided to take thing a step further. He says. Rama has done things beyond the comprehension of human beings. And so has Ravana, the greatest demon. Hence he is the greatest demon. Now I will quote the author – “Ravana ruled the Golden Island of Ceylon, while his brother ruled Brazil.” I am not even lying! The author claimed that Ravana’s brother (which one, is not mentioned) ruled Brazil!! And wait, it gets better. “People in today’s decadent era will not be even able to comprehend that Ravana built a subway between Ceylon and Brazil, so mighty was he. Who can do that in today’s world?” WHAT?!? A subway between Sri Lanka and Brazil?! What’s the author on? Weed? Of COURSE, I can’t comprehend THAT!!

Second thing is that, don’t you feel that the author is a bit racist? I mean he says that Ravana ruled Sri Lanka (which is fine, since in the Epic, that’s what the island is called too) and his brother ruled in Brazil (now where did THAT come from??). He basically picked out the country where people are a bit darker in skin shade. Why not pick a country …say….Denmark. Ravana’s brother ruled Denmark……To me both Brazil and Denmark seem improbable. And I am not even going to bother writing my views about the author claiming that Ravana built a subway between Ceylon and Brazil.

Bomb#2: now the author is talking about the part where Rama built a floating stone ramp thingy to cross over to Ceylon. He goes like “ Rama made heavy stones float on water. It was urukarma. The blind scientists of today claim that there is a force called gravity. Where was your force of gravity then?” WAIT!!! Did the guy just deny GRAVITY? Somebody tell him, that it was because of GRAVITY he could take a dump today!! Somebody also tell him that floatation is governed by Laws of Floatation and not only by gravity.

At this point, I nearly throw the newsletter out of the window. But I restrict myself, and go to the next article.

Second Article

The second article I read, not the second article on the newsletter. It featured a big photograph of a donkey and the title read something that went along the lines “Scientists – the biggest asses of today”.

The article went on rambling about how the scientists are same as donkey. I am not even kidding. The first paragraph was all about trying to prove that scientists are donkeys.

The author says something like – the scientists ask for proof for God’s existence, they are as stubborn and oblivious to the world as donkeys. He says that the proof of God’s existence is everywhere. Why does the Sun shine? Why does the flower bloom? So on and so forth. Then the author says that see how the sun rises and sets at the right time, and does not get “delayed”…….”delayed” as the flights in “great” international airports managed by humans. This points towards God’s existence. God is managing everything.

Which pretty much means that if we let God manage our international airports, no flight will ever get delayed.

To say the truth I was appalled after reading what I had just read. To say the truth, I was positively disposed towards the Haré Krishna Movement. I don’t have to be a believer to be positively disposed, mind you. I am aware of the many charitable programs that they are running – involving feeding the poor, orphanages etc. But it is sad if this was their official stand. They could have gone ahead and tried to find a rational answer for everything that they talk about. But that’s the thing, they don’t. Instead they debunk science, and run a smear campaign against the scientists.

Not only that, they make fanciful claims while they are at it. Notice the way the author of the newsletter puts forth his claim about Ravana building a subway between Ceylon and Brazil (without any proof, of course). He starts off by saying that people today cannot comprehend it. You can’t comprehend it, so don’t. rather, just accept it. Also, the author gave no proof backing his own claims. Neither did he give any good arguments to proof science wrong. Why should anyone choose to remain blind?

I have nothing against people who believe. Everyone is welcome to believe in whatever drives him or gives him hope. But I dislike fanatics and zealots. Someone, long ago, had said that ‘it is difficult to argue against a fanatic, because he is blind to your logic and does not fully understand his own.’ Well, evidently. And I still don’t understand why it cost thirty.

PS: for pete’s sake, don’t start a pseudo religious debate here. I’ll moderate them if someone says something offending.

PPS: the picture of the donkey i picked up from Google, is the same one used in the newsletter. only the newsletter one was black and white.

  1. VERY nicely written. ;3

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